I am Jard DeVille
and, and following my tour of service in the Army Air Forces
during World War II, marriage to Roberta, parenting several
children and completing college -- my wife and I spent half a
century in the helping professions. We pastored several churches
and taught in different schools. As she became a reading
specialist in the public schools, I taught and chaired psychology
in two liberal arts colleges, helped lead two manufacturing firms
and directed a psychological clinic under the auspices of the
University of Wisconsin at Madison.
I also
researched and taught in the Executive Development Program at the
University of Arizona in Tucson. As a pastor and a psychology
professor I counseled thousands of distressed souls and we
eventually consulted in organizations literally around the world.
During most of those
years we also researched and published a virtual cornucopia of
articles, books, seminars and psychological tests. Roberta remains
my darling; my sweetheart since our college days half a century
ago and I remain her lover. She is a full partner in the books and
courses appearing in our
FULFILLMENT FORUM. Of course, our book
about marriage,
LOVERS FOR LIFE
which is now part of the
FULFILLMENT FORUM'S
curriculum, is one of our best creations. Fortunately, for lasting
our peace of mind, we never let our secular career interests
overshadow our spiritual contributions.
Even before we wed,
we entered into a conscious covenant relationship with God as well
as with each other. We have learned beyond a shadow of a doubt
that this spiritual commitment connects Roberta and myself, in
partnership, with the Lord of the Cosmos, with God the Seminal
Spirit. We revel in God's grace and find consistent companionship
with many dear friends in the greater community of faith.
Fortunately, we learned early in our marriage that our lives
contained seeds of potential and purpose that we could sow
throughout society. We also understood that merely worshipping for
an hour or two each week wasn't enough. We possessed nothing God
wanted from us that wasn't first offered as a gift through other
persons. Only then did our contributions become more than
narcissistic ploys we used to sooth our egos.
We agree completely
with the brilliant Carl Jung when he wrote that no one can live a
consistently satisfying life without becoming a spiritually minded
person -- without creating within one's lifestyle the mystical
elements of faith, hope and love found within a "living" or a
personalized religion. Because we are children of the stars,
literally the by-products of Star Dust, to quote cosmologist Carl
Sagan, everyone has inherited the metaphysical nature of the
Cosmos, which gave us life. To become free souls, we must abandon
the secular temptation to fixate on possessions, prestige, power
and pleasure. For while they are all valuable within reason, we
must abandon the delusion that they are in themselves sufficient
to liberate our souls from bondage and to offer satisfaction.
Because of our metaphysical or spiritual needs, we must
consciously connect with the God of the Cosmos who is the creator
of very existence itself. Otherwise, our crucial spiritual needs
are unmet and we remain neurotic and become frustrated and often
miserable.
Life became
consistently meaningful for Roberta and myself as we began
maturing psychospiritually, as we invested our lives in different
aspects of the helping professions. And while we have had our
share of failures in both professional activities and personal
relationships, we persisted, often working as if galley slaves. We
converted much of our youthful potential into physical,
psychological and spiritual victories that are recorded for all
time on the pages of God's cosmic Book of Life. In one assignment,
Roberta developed the curriculum for a great new public school in
Minneapolis. During my college teaching, I recruited more than a
hundred fine, spiritually minded youngsters into graduate
psychology programs. We cannot possibly estimate how many souls
those students, some of whom are now approaching retirement,
eventually influenced because of our commitment to their lives for
sound contributions can go on forever! Those benevolences along
with many more were entered under our names as we pressed on -and
are ours to savor all our lives. For, once a potential gift has
been activated and made real, it can never be undone.
Eventually, we
learned that neither infirmity nor accident -- neither aging nor
death -- not even God personally, can erase one jot or account of a
loving person's gifts. No surgeon replaces an infected appendix,
no teacher erases a mathematical insight from a student's
knowledge, no scoutmaster eliminates the meetings and camping
trips he or she has led and no mother deletes from the heart of a
child the comfort given over a sickbed. Once our contributions to
God -- given through others of course -- are actualized and
recorded, they are forever part of our lives. And despite any and
all circumstances that follow -- despite greater victories or
depressing defeats, we remain the benefactors who donated some
aspect of our lives to others. As traditional Muslims say, What
has been written by God -- truly has been written forever.
Unfortunately, a
great many neurotically driven women and men fail to accept this
permanent aspect of achievement. Their egos clamor for more and
more and more, in order to ease the simmering pain of their
neuroticism. Daniel J. is one of the best National Football
League's coaches, perhaps the best head coach of our era. He has
taken several inferior teams and turned them into Super Bowl
winners.
Roberta and I are convinced that there exists a far better
approach to satisfaction and we are not speaking of different
strokes for different folks, but about a universal human need for
believing, belonging and becoming.
Of course, we both
have the advantage of hindsight. From our vantage point of
three-quarters of a century, we can look back to understand Viktor
Frankl's quip -- "While life is lived from the beginning to the
end -- we can understand it only from the back to the front." From
the beginning life is filled with buzzing, bustling confusion for
infants, children, adolescents and young adults -- often into
middle age, as we struggle to make sense from many conflicting and
contradictory elements.
Only in retrospect
does the jigsaw puzzle of existence become a complete picture! For
example, the most painful disappointments often turn out to be our
greatest blessings over the long run. Roberta and I met in college
while we both were recovering from disastrous romances. I was
heartbroken when Joyce P. rejected my marriage proposal -- for
several months, until Roberta appeared on my radar. She too had
been hurt -- had accepted Andy F's proposal only to have him place
unacceptable restrictions on their relationship. He was a young
sexist to whom women were sweet little incompetents for whom their
husbands must make sound decisions. We married and so did Joyce,
although within ten years the poor dear died miserably from a
terrible genetic flaw that left two motherless children and a
devastated husband. And even Andy grew up, to became a New Orleans
pastor who courageously fought for integrated schools, businesses
and churches during the Civil Rights movement of the sixties.
Had Joyce and I
married, the grieving children may have been more than I could
have managed well, at a time when great opportunities were opening
up within my life. Had Roberta and Andy married, theirs would have
been a very rocky relationship, for she could never have become
the kind of wife he thought he wanted at twenty-two years of age.
On the other hand, Roberta and I have sailed along with only a few
glitches as we produced three children, eight grandkids and five
great grandkids. Truly, for most of us, life starts to make sense
only after we have recorded a sufficient number of miles on our
odometers! We see this mileage as a real font of wisdom in our
search for soul liberation. Unfortunately, many people never have
ten or twenty years of experience but freeze in place with their
ancient traditions and ideologies as life roars on, to have only
one year of experience ten or twenty times over!
Most young people
begin with considerable potential, but many fail for any number of
reasons, including some debilitating combination of secular
values, negative attitudes, low expectations, immature beliefs and
irresponsible choices. Because we avoided those handicaps most of
the time, our personal possibilities were often realized along our
journey. We acquired sound education and rejected racist and
religious bigotry, created a lasting marriage and reared good kids
and pursued interesting careers in ministry, education,
counseling, leadership, consulting and especially writing. Even
our worst flaw, according to our parents who despised job hoppers,
eventually became our greatest strength. When we became bored at
one set of tasks, we moved on to something challenging. For, after
ten years at a job, we were no longer solving new problems but
merely restructuring old solutions. As we look back, it seems that
the very restlessness that sent us seeking new challenges, from
military aviation and ministry to manufacturing, from counseling
to management consulting and aircraft design - prepared us to
publish the flood of articles, seminars, psychological tests and
books that became our most important contribution to humanity.
In one decade
alone we reached around the world to touch some thirty million
persons with our messages about interpersonal persuasion and
leadership, soul liberation and fulfillment, living meaningfully
and existential spirituality. During another period in our lives,
we developed and distributed internationally two very successful
church leadership courses;
THE PASTOR'S HANDBOOK
ON INTERPERSONAL RELATIONS and THE PSYCHOLOGY OF WITNESSING. They
were studied by virtually every clergy and lay leader of one of
the world's fastest growing religious denominations.
And now, with our
E-books
FRONTIERS OF FULFILLMENT,
THE LIBERATED SOUL,
LOVERS
FOR
LIFE and
NICE GUYS FINISH FIRST
coming out, God alone knows where
our seeds shall continue to find fertile soil, can number the
lives we influence. All because restless old Jard and gracious
Roberta persisted and persisted and persisted until we finally got
it right. For, once something as sound as THE PASTOR'S HANDBOOK
and THE PSYCHOLOGY OF WITNESSING are accepted within the church,
the concepts shall pass from mind to mind for centuries. How do we
feel about that?
One might say; "We laid up our treasures where neither moths nor
rust can corrupt, where thieves cannot break in and steal our
gold", but that concept has already been used. By one -- "Whose
sandals we are unworthy to unlace." Oops -- that quote has also
been used. Well, in any case, we were very fortunate to discover a
long-term approach to life that was far more meaningful than
merely massaging our own egos. And that is what we offer you in
our FULFILLMENT FORUM E- books and courses.
Spiritually liberated
women and men understand that the true worth of each human life is
determined by the positive activities we complete and the
permanent relationships we nurture. Everything else is transitory
and often banal. Across the years we have met and come to cherish
thousands of spiritually minded men and women who are far more
loving, reliable and generous than Dan the N F L coach -- or for
that matter the financial sharks from Enron, Cable Crossing and
Arthur Anderson and ninety percent of the congressional remoras
who feed on the crumbs the robber barons use to bribe them. We
really are finite beings, swirling leaves adrift in a dangerous
cosmic wind, beset consistently by the tragic elements of
suffering, rage, guilt and death, often seeking support from
someone or something greater than our own fragile selves.
Fortunately, during my two generations of psychospiritual
research, some wonderful insights and life-saving methods emerged
from the works of men and women like Jesus, St. Paul, Soren
Kierkegaard, Sigmund Freud, Viktor Frankl, Alfred Adler. Carl
Jung, Karen Horney, Otto Rank, Laura Perls, Abraham Maslow,
Melanie Klein, Ernest Becker, Anna Freud, Dugal Arbuckle, Carl
Rogers, Wayne Dyer and many others we refer to in our books and
courses. The insights are not miracles but if applied with wisdom
and consistence, they do empower lives in many ways.
Now, I've said all
that to emphasize this point;
Times come to us when
our conscious connection within the Cosmos is more satisfying then
Roberta or I can easily express. A keen awareness of coming into
God's presence may emerge from the unconscious aspects of our
minds when one of us reads some especially meaningful passage from
Scripture to the other, when we are singing a grand old hymn of
the church or working together to accomplish something significant
for some portion of humankind. At that time we know we really are
citizens of the Cosmos, that God blesses our activities and
relationships in countless ways. I suppose that makes us spiritual
mystics. In one of his conversations about human mythology with
the late Joseph Campbell of Sarah Lawrence College, Bill Moyers
asked a very perceptive question that helped us put the following
insight in perspective for Roberta and myself.
Because of our
conscious cosmic connection, something deeply personal and highly
significant regularly occurs within our lives. We find ourselves,
now and forevermore, within the shining center of the Cosmos, at
the very holiest of holies, where the physical, psychological and
philosophical aspects of existence converge, where the strands of
faith, hope and love are woven together in God's presence. We are
at the summit of grace and we know that the spirit realm extends
through all the ages to come, is one and the same with the
indescribably magnificent physical and mystical Cosmos of God. We
understand that so long as we remain committed to God and each
other, life will never again revert to the fearful and the banal.
We have come into the spirit realm through faith and grace and
have identified with Jesus' love of our brothers and sisters, have
joined with humankind. This is where we belong and how we live
meaningful lives.
And that has made our
challenges worthwhile, has given us a sense of permanence in our
contributions that neither aging nor infirmities or even death
itself can wrest our satisfaction from us. We do indeed Believe,
Belong and are still Becoming what God has given us the grace to
be.
We sometimes wish
that our spiritual relationships automatically made us wise and
competent in all the various aspects of life. Unfortunately, they
don't. We have to sweat for the rest! This incredible joy doesn't
last long -- it would burn out our circuits, but devout persons do
find times of liberating self-awareness in God's love once they
connect and start maturing psychospiritually. Of course, God has
not called any of us to loll around and sip emotional mint juleps.
We must return to life's many activities; to look for a clean pair
of socks, wash the car and mend the fence and go on vacation and
cook for the family picnic and get back to work and that's all
right -- for we humans are genetically programmed to accomplish
things for ourselves and for others. Living in community with the
people with whom we share love is the universal human norm.
It is only when
something has gone disastrously wrong in their souls, when they
are suffering from severe emotional and spiritual wounds, that
narcissistic people fixate too completely on their possessions,
prestige, pleasure and power, who support only those who benefit
themselves. Spiritually healthy women and men, the liberated souls
of society, connect with humanity through some cause greater than
their greedy lusts, narcissistic ideologies and simmering
anxieties. On the other hand, if persons fail to make a cosmic
connection, they become vulnerable to and dependent on
manipulative persons or organizations that use and abuse other
humans. Spiritually minded persons much prefer being useful to
society rather than amassing enough wealth and power to manipulate
others. We have avoided that trap and after a lifetime of relating
as best we can to God and serving humankind -- we really have
found freedom for our souls and a peace of mind through faith,
hope and love. And so can you, as you can learn by inspecting the
courses described on our website!
Warm Wishes,
Jard & Roberta DeVille
Minneapolis, MN -- U S A
*Life-Long
Vita
Military Airman -- U S Army Air Forces -- Pacific And Asia
Minister And Pastoral Counselor -- Western Hills Church,
Cincinnati
Science / Vo-Technical Instructor -- Sayler Park School,
Cincinnati
Psychology Professor / Student Counselor -- Illinois Olivet
College
Psychology Professor / Psych. Dept. Chair -- Utah Westminster
College
Manager, Engineering Research, Methods And Training -- UniRoyal
Inc
V P Manufacturing -- Derardean Automatic Farm Tool Corporation
Director -- The Wisconsin Learning And Learning Disabilities
Clinic
Leadership Professor -- Executive Development Program. U. of
Arizona
President -- The DeVille Institute / International Consultant /
Author
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